The Surprising French Etiquette Rules That Travelers Must Know
Introduction
When traveling to France, many visitors find themselves surprised by the nuances of French etiquette. While some customs may seem strict or unusual, they are deeply rooted in history and culture. Knowing these etiquette rules can help you blend in and make your experience in France smoother and more enjoyable. Here’s what you need to know before your next trip!
1. Always Greet with “Bonjour” or “Bonsoir”
In France, greeting someone before asking a question or making a request is a must. Whether you’re entering a shop, speaking to a waiter, or asking for directions, start with a polite “Bonjour” (good day) or “Bonsoir” (good evening). This small gesture sets the tone for a respectful and pleasant interaction. Skipping this step might make you seem rude, even if it’s unintentional!
2. Mastering "La Bise" – The French Cheek Kiss
In France, greeting friends and acquaintances with a kiss on the cheek—known as la bise—is a common custom, but the tricky part is knowing which side to start on! Generally, in Paris and many other regions, people start with the right cheek first. However, in some areas, like Provence or the Loire Valley, they begin with the left!
To make it even more confusing, the number of kisses varies by region. While two kisses (one on each cheek) is standard, some regions go for three or even four. If you're unsure, let the other person take the lead, and never actually "kiss"—just lightly touch cheeks while making a soft kissing sound.
3. Use “Vous” Instead of “Tu” with Strangers
French has two forms of “you”: formal (“vous”) and informal (“tu”). Using “tu” with someone you don’t know well can be seen as overly familiar or even disrespectful. Always default to “vous” unless invited to use “tu.”
3. Avoid Smiling at Strangers
While Thai people often smile at passersby as a friendly gesture, the French tend to reserve their smiles for genuine social interactions. If a stranger doesn’t smile back, don’t take it personally—it’s just cultural.
4. Dress Smartly in Public Spaces
The French take fashion seriously, and casual attire such as flip-flops, shorts, and tank tops in urban areas might make you stand out—in a bad way. While comfort is important, aim for a smart-casual look that’s both stylish and practical.
5. Avoid Loud Conversations in Public
The French generally prefer a more subdued tone in public spaces. Speaking too loudly, especially in restaurants, can come off as disruptive. Keep your voice at a moderate level to blend in better.
6. Keep Small Talk to a Minimum
While small talk is common in Thailand or the UK, the French often prefer meaningful conversations. Asking about politics, art, or travel is more engaging than chatting about the weather.
7. Keep Your Hands on the Table While Eating
Unlike in other countries as the US or Thailand, where keeping your hands in your lap is considered polite, in France, hands should remain visible on the table (but not your elbows!). This tradition dates back to medieval times when people wanted to show they were unarmed and had no ill intentions. Today, it’s simply seen as good table manners.
8. Tear Bread with Your Hands, Not a Knife
Bread is a staple of French dining, and the proper way to eat it is by tearing it with your hands rather than cutting it with a knife. This practice dates back centuries and is still considered the polite way to enjoy a baguette today.
9. Handle Cheese the Right Way
Cheese is serious business in France! When served a cheese platter, cut it properly—never just take from the tip, as this is seen as poor etiquette. Instead, cut a slice that maintains the shape of the cheese.
10. Don’t Eat While Walking
Eating on the go is common in other countries, but in France, meals—even snacks—are meant to be enjoyed at a table. Walking down the street while munching on a sandwich is seen as sloppy. Instead, take a moment to sit and enjoy your food properly.
11. Say “Santé!” Before Drinking
When toasting in France, it’s customary to say “Santé!” (to health) and make eye contact with each person. Avoid crossing glasses with others—it’s considered bad luck!
12. Bring a Gift When Invited to Someone’s Home
If you’re lucky enough to be invited to a French home, don’t show up empty-handed. A bottle of wine, a bouquet of flowers (avoid chrysanthemums as they symbolize death), or fine chocolates are great choices to show appreciation for your host.
13. Finish Everything on Your Plate
Leaving food on your plate can be seen as wasteful or a sign that you didn’t enjoy the meal. If you’re dining at someone’s home, finishing your plate shows appreciation for the effort put into the meal.
14. Be Punctual—But Not Too Early
Arriving exactly on time or just a few minutes late is ideal in France. Showing up too early can catch your host off guard, while excessive lateness is considered rude.
Fun Facts About French Etiquette
🔵 The Origin of Keeping Hands on the Table
This rule comes from medieval times when people dined with potential enemies. Keeping hands visible ensured trust. Today, it’s just about politeness!
🔵 Why the French Are Picky About Bread
In the 18th century, bread riots occurred when the price of bread skyrocketed. Bread has always been essential to French culture, and the tradition of tearing it by hand connects people to this historical importance.
🔵 Napoleon’s Role in Bread Etiquette
France’s deep respect for bread goes back centuries, but during Napoleon’s time, a unique rule emerged—placing bread upside down on the table was considered bad luck! This superstition stemmed from a time when executioners were given free bread, which bakers would set aside upside down as a sign of respect. Even today, some French people avoid placing a baguette upside down.
🔵 The Origins of "Salut" and "Bonjour"
Did you know that in medieval France, people greeted each other by saying "Salut", which originally meant "health" or "salvation"? Over time, "Bonjour" became the preferred formal greeting, as it literally means "good day," setting a polite and respectful tone from the start.
🔵 The History Behind “Santé!”
Toasting dates back to the Middle Ages when poisoning was a concern. People would clink glasses hard enough to make liquid spill between them as a show of trust. Now, it’s just good manners to make eye contact when toasting!
🔵 The Unspoken Wine-Pouring Rule
In France, never pour your own wine first! Traditionally, wine should be poured for others at the table before serving yourself. This practice dates back to aristocratic dining customs where servants or hosts would always serve guests first. It’s a small but significant way to show consideration for your dining companions.
By following these etiquette rules, you’ll not only show respect for French customs but also enjoy a richer, more immersive travel experience. Bon voyage!
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